I hear a nasty scratch and look at the hardwood floors in horror. Jak looks up at me sheepishly as he stops moving the couch. I take a deep breath in and know that it is just floors and we can always refinish the floors down the line.
We lifted the couch and continue to re-arrange it.... 7 different times. We play a game of Tetris to figure out how to fit this couch that has a "cuddler" side to it that Jak fell in love with 4 years ago in a small space.
After an hour of furniture Tetris we figure out how to best arrange the awkwardly shaped couch into the small space that was not meant to the the living room.
Our son smiled up at us. While Jak and I had played Tetris, our son was on the couch enjoying the ride the entire time. I look at Jak, hug him, kiss him and say, "This has been so much fun!"
Now, for anyone who knows me personally, I'm not good at cleaning and organizing. It's truly been a weakness and I'm trying to do better each and every day.
While I truly suck at cleaning and re-arranging, taking time to do this not only as a couple but as a family was fun!
Not because it was easy (it wasn't - it was actually exhausting).
Not because it was something we wanted to do (it wasn't - we would have kept the layout as is, but our new family needs instigated the need to re-arrange).
We had fun because we all did it together, acted like a team, listened to each idea we had on how we wanted to arrange the furniture, and worked together to accomplish the goal.
I can tell you that had Jak and I not done our recovery work in the beginning we wouldn't be here - over 7 years later - laughing and enjoying cleaning/re-arranging the house furniture on a Sunday.
In fact, I know there wouldn't be an us if he hadn't committed to his own recovery work.
What had me stay was that he never gave up and kept trying.
Chloe, my co-coach, has the mentality "as long as he is trying, I'm staying," and it stuck with me.
Recovery isn't linear, isn't easy, and isn't fast.
It's ups and downs, challenging at times, and depending on each person's unique circumstances, it can take a while to feel truly stable and confident in your recovery journey.
But, let me tell you, it's worth it.
Knowing that Jak and I committed to ourselves, each other, and our family so that we could get to the result of laughing off scratching the floors versus being in a full on fight is amazing.
The little things that drove us mad we now appreciate about each other. Through recovery we learned to love ourselves as well as each other in new ways.
To know that we can enjoy life and be like a "normal" couple is such a relief.
Back in the beginning when we both felt like our world was shattered and over, we never felt like a normal couple.
We never felt like we could get back to any sense of normalcy.
We really didn't know how to get to a healthy and connected "us."
But through trial and error, commitment, and outside help, we did make it.
And we continue to make it each day.
My personal belief is that everyone has the ability to recover.
However, not everyone will choose to recover.
Recovery is a choice.
It's a choice that you make each and every day you move forward.
As Demi Lovato famously said recovery doesn't have a day off.
It's true, each day, we make thousands of choices all the time. Some we don't even think about - but they're still choices.
So as you enter this upcoming week, reflect on the choices you make each and every day.
Are they helping recovery or are they harming recovery?
It's a good question to come back to whenever you're in doubt.
Always here for you when you're ready to add to your recovery team,
P.S. don't miss out on the Fall Recovery Special!
If you're not interested in the Fall Recovery Special, you can check out our other services (we've made some changes).
If you need sliding scale you can always apply.